From Bondage to Calling

Alcoholics Anonymous calls it the “Third Step Prayer”.  A plea to be released from the bondage of self, so I could be of better service to others. To do this, I had to willingly turn my life over to the care of God as I understood him. (Alcoholics Anonymous 2001)

The words stacked up one upon the other creating a roadblock of thoughts. “Bondage of self” caused the bottle neck. “Willingly turn my life ” was the one that created the pile up.

This short prayer implied there might be only one bond holding me captive: myself.  The bondage of my selves was more like it. Which should I work on first? My fearful self? How about the selfish, lack of commitment self? I felt the familiar tug and began to sink.

Unfortunately, I was convinced the source of all my misery was the very entity they were suggesting I give myself up to willingly, God. The prayer said my difficulties could be taken away and I would be of better service, more loving, and filled with his power to be a recovered person. I had doubts. My difficulties were drowning me literally and figuratively.

I stared at the Psalms of David with tear filled eyes. I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Psalm 40:1-3 (NIV)

Would he? Could he, if asked?

Coming from a place of bondage to realizing a calling to serve is a journey. My map held a lot of land minds.

Unworthiness continued to sabotage every new experience which worked great at shutting down commitments and regular spiritual growth.

Shame would push me out along the edges of love and fellowship.

Fear sucked out all the joy.

How do you untangle all the bondages of self? They told me it was one day at a time.

An honest willingness to take a hard look at each part of you that holds you bound while praying for the clarity offered through others who quietly come along side of you.

And then you serve. Unselfishly.

Reflection:

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NIV) Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”.

Call to Action:

A long journey needs a pilot, one who can plot the plan already in place for you. Pray for courage and clarity to see the barriers of selves and how to begin to let go and watch God work.